Viking's Poetry Corner!
by Wannabe Viking
Summary: Idea from 'St. Fang of Boredom' Basically Hiccup and I rambling about nothing in particular in a poetic form. Don't like? Don't read. Simple as that.
1. Hiccup isn't wearing underwear

Viking – Welcome to my poetry corner!

Hiccup – Oh, Thor, please, help us all.

Viking – It's your poetry corner too Hiccup!

Hiccup – No! I never agreed to this!

Viking – So?

Hiccup - *sighs* Fine...

Viking – YAY!

**Hiccup is really cute.**

**I wish I could see him in a suit.**

**I bet it would look very formal.**

**I'm definitely anything but normal.**

Hiccup – I agree with that last line.

**Viking is really weird.**

**Seriously, it's my life that is feared.**

**She smothers me in hugs.**

**And she never closes her windows so there are a lot of bugs.**

**I don't know what I'm writing anymore.**

**I think I'm going to go die on the floor.**

Viking – The fourth line was way too long!

Hiccup – It's not as easy as it looks.

**Ruffnut can be a total bitch.**

**But I don't think she's a witch.**

**She has a brother named Tuff.**

**And he is really buff.**

**Actually that was a lie.**

**Hey look! There is a fly!**

Hiccup – *WTF expression*

Viking – I needed something to rhyme with lie!

Hiccup – How's this?

**Actually that was a lie.**

**I think Snotlout should die.**

**He always lies and hits me.**

**I wish he would go get stung by a bee.**

Viking – Nice one!

**HTTYD is so cool.**

**But there is only one rule.**

**Viking owns Hiccup.**

**So there is no mishap.**

**She owns him for life.**

**If someone disagrees there will be an issue with a knife.**

Hiccup – Hiccup and mishap don't rhyme, Viking.

Viking – Your turn!

**Being kidnapped is not so fun.**

**I wish I was allowed to run.**

**Viking is with me everywhere.**

**I'm going to go eat a pear.**

**V**iking – We have no pears.

Hiccup – Really? Can I have an apple instead?

Viking – Sure.

**Hiccup has gone to eat.**

**He has smell feet.**

**He's covered in freckles, head to toe.**

**My lawn really needs a mow.**

**Here I am, in my room.**

**I wonder if my mum has any perfume.**

Hiccup – My feet don't smell bad! *Bites into apple*

Viking – You wear boots the size of King Kong!

**Viking thinks I have boots the size of King**** Kong.**

**Anyone else think that's physically wrong?**

**Right now she's listening to Owl City.**

**Adam Young, on you I feel pity.**

**It's a song about needing a friend.**

**I think Viking's mind needs a mend.**

Viking – It's a song about feeling alive!

Hiccup – I tried that but I could only think of hive!

**That was all about nothing at all.**

**The leaf turns over, I'm willing to fall.**

Hiccup – That was a quote from the song! That's cheating!

**Viking is a cheater.**

**I bet she can't even run a metre.**

**She just sits there on Facebook.**

**She's turning into a bit of a sook.**

**She never updates her FanFiction anymore.**

**There she is, sitting on the floor.**

**Her readers are starting to give her death threats.**

**An American baseball team? The New York Mets.**

Viking – I'm not sitting on the floor! I'm on my bed. And I haven't checked my Facebook for like ten minutes!

Hiccup – Hmm... I thought you would point out my American baseball team thing?

Viking – Nah, it's cool.

**Hiccup can be really mean.**

**I think there is a meat called lean.**

**Gods, I'm finally going insane.**

**What's happening to my brain?**

**I need help right now.**

**I never should have talked to that owl.**

Hiccup – Owl? What owl?

Viking – Never you mind...

**Viking has a lot of songs.**

**You pick up food with a pair of tongs.**

**I'm so tired.**

**I think I'm going to get fired.**

**Wait, I don't have a job?**

**I'm just going to go sob.**

**I want to go back home.**

**Why doesn't Viking have a garden gnome?**

Viking – that's probably the most random one so far!

Hiccup – Okay then, you make a more random one.

**I have a class called art.**

**Fishlegs is very smart.**

**I am wearing tights.**

**Someone turn on the lights.**

**I can't see.**

**Hiccup might flee.**

**My life goal is to write a book.**

**And learn how to cook.**

**I want to do some other stuff too.**

**Cows go moo.**

Hiccup – Yep, you can do it.

Viking – Yay! Randomness! Hiccup, go!

**Why me?**

**I think that dog has a flee.**

**I want to see snow.**

**Rivers have to flow.**

**Also Rivers is a clothes store.**

**But no one goes there anymore.**

**It's just really crap.**

**Trees have sap.**

**I don't know why I put up with this.**

**If I hit Viking, I'd probably miss.**

**Her friend has my dragon tied up in her back yard.**

**This poetry stuff is really hard.**

**You probably just laughed.**

**Dirty minds think so fast.**

**That did rhyme.**

**But that's fine.**

**I need to sleep.**

**Hopefully Viking won't make a peep.**

Viking – Hahaha!

Hiccup – O.o

**This chapter is getting long.**

**How about we see a song?**

**Nah I can't be bothered.**

**Have people really hovered?**

**I need to check my Facebook.**

**Just a sneak peek, just a look.**

**Nothing has happened there.**

**I don't think Hiccup is wearing underwear.**

**I'm listening to a song called 'Right Now'.**

**Punches go POW!**

**I slowly getting tired.**

**Is my head wired?**

**No, that can't be true.**

**I've never gotten the flu.**

**I hate school.**

**They all treat me like a fool.**

**All the bullies and the jerks.**

**It never has its perks.**

**I probably shouldn't have said that.**

**Some people are fat.**

**But that's okay, we're all alright.**

**Even if sometimes we fight.**

**I really need to go to bed.**

**Now that Hiccup has been fed.**

Hiccup – were you seriously talking about me having no underwear on?

Viking – Does that mean you're not wearing any? ;)

Hiccup – Help me... please...

Viking – We should go...

Hiccup – yes, you're falling asleep at your laptop!

Viking – uh huh... But first we need to disclaim.

Hiccup – Can we just put a disclaimer note at the end? I'm too tired to mention all that stuff...

Viking – Sure.

**DISCLAIMER**** – Viking does not own the following...**

**Facebook.**

**Owl City.**

**The song 'Right Now'.**

**King Kong.**

**Rivers.**

**The New York Mets.**

**The line - "That was all about nothing at all. The leaf turns over, I'm willing to fall." From the Owl City song 'Plant Life'.**

**Poetry Corner.-That was created by the wonderful author 'St. Fang of Boredom'. If you've read 'Maximum Ride' you should really check her out. In my opinion she's one of the best author out and the gave me the idea that I should kidnap Hiccup.**

**How to Train Your Dragon**

Hiccup – You're going to get sued.

Viking – Yup.

Hiccup – Are you even going to post this?

Viking – Maybe, probably not. We'll see.

Well, bye from Viking and Hiccup!

R&R?


	2. Guys with Mustaches

Hiccup – Another chapter?

Viking – Yes! Yay, Poetry!

Hiccup – This is hardly poetry.

Viking – Your face is hardly poetry.

Hiccup – Your other fanfics are going unwritten.

Viking – Your face is going unwritten.

Hiccup – Viking! You're getting death threats!

Viking – Your face is getting death threats.

Hiccup – I give up! *Head desk*

Viking – Your face gives up! xD

**Viking is very lazy.**

**Her career as a writer is getting hazy.**

**She says she never has time anymore.**

**She needs to stop fighting this war.**

**Now all she does is talk to her boyfriend.**

**This stuff needs to end!**

Viking – He's not my boyfriend!

Hiccup – You talk to him like every flipping minute of everyday!

Viking – That doesn't mean we're a couple!

Hiccup – Viking! You're talking to him right now...!

Viking – *looks up from phone* huh?

Hiccup – It's your turn anyway.

**Hiccup tunic is very green.**

**But he doesn't smell clean.**

**He should have a bath once in a while.**

**All those flies are starting to pile.**

**He smells so bad that they're starting to die.**

**No more will they be able to fly. **

Hiccup – I don't smell bad!

Viking – Have you had a bath, like, ever?

Hiccup – Ah... no... :/

Viking – *face palm*

**Viking speaks of a 'bath'.**

**She should shut up before she feels my wrath.**

**I don't actually smell bad.**

**Gosh, she should be glad!**

**She's lucky I'm even here.**

**I wish I could just disappear.**

**I want to go back to Berk.**

**This place doesn't have one perk.**

Viking – You're like a constant downer, huh?

Hiccup – Hmm... I wonder why... It's not like I've been _kidnapped_ or anything.

Viking – You know you can leave at anytime, right?

Hiccup – Really? *Gets up to leave*

Security guard #1 – *tackles Hiccup down to the floor*

Security guard #2 – *points gun at Hiccup*

Hiccup – What the hell?

Viking – I said you could leave, not that you would be able to.

Hiccup – That doesn't make sense, at all!

**Silly Hiccup, thinking he can leave.**

**Just the thought makes me want to heave.**

**He should stay with me forever.**

**Him leaving? Never!**

**He's gonna stay right here.**

**He has nothing to fear.**

Hiccup – Nothing to fear? Someone nearly shot me!

Viking – Guns don't kill people... Guys with mustaches do!

Hiccup – So my dad and Gobber are murders?

Viking – They killed dragons, didn't they?

Hiccup – *shrugs* Point made.

**Apparently murders include Gobber and my dad.**

**They haven't kill me, so I'm pretty glad.**

**Thought, I have my suspicions about Gobber.**

**All day, he just sits there, in the shop, not going to hover.**

Viking - ?

Hiccup – What?

Viking - "All day, he just sits there, in the shop, not going to hover" ?

Hiccup – You try and rhyme Gobber with something!

Viking – Didn't we already have this argument in the last chapter?

Hiccup – Maybe... I can't remember...

**Hiccup sucks at rhyming.**

**A bell makes a sound like chiming.**

**It's 10:50 in the morning.**

**An alarm is kind of like a warning.**

**I shouldn't even be awake, it's Saturday.**

**Rebbecca Black sings a song called Friday.**

**I don't like her songs.**

**That trail is very longs.**

**I found a site called Omegle.**

**Where you talk to random people!**

Hiccup – What the *beep* was that?

Viking – A poem! XD

Hiccup – You are NOT a poet, Viking. Just give up.

Viking – NEVAHH! Mwahahahahahhahaha!

Hiccup – What did I do to deserve this torture? *cries*

**Sometimes I wonder if she was dropped her head.**

**I love it when Viking goes to bed.**

**She's not as damn annoying.**

**With my emotions she is toying.**

**Sometimes I'm angry, sometimes I'm sad.**

**But my emotions never go to glad.**

**Well maybe when she takes me to the beach.**

**But not when her shower smells like freaking bleach.**

**That smell makes me feel sick.**

**I can't think of anything else so I'll just write flick.**

Viking – Aw! Taking you to the beach makes you happy?

Hiccup – Maybe...

Viking - :D

Hiccup – Shut up! I like the beach! It's nice and sunny!

Viking – Sure... It wouldn't have anything to do with spending time with me, would it?

Hiccup - ...

Viking – Admit it, Hiccup, I'm growing on you! Admit it!

Hiccup – ...Shouldn't you finish this chapter? It's nearing 700 words.

Viking – 699... 700! WOO! 702, 703, 704, 70-

Hiccup – Viking!

Viking – Okay, okay. *whispers* 712, 718, 719...

Hiccup - *sighs* I guess I'm going to have to do this myself?

Viking - ... 727, 728...

Hiccup – Umm...Bye I guess.. Until next chapter, which I have no idea when that will be. Viking has a poll up now so go! Go and vote! Vote your freaking butts off!

Viking - ...727...

Hiccup – Also, Viking is now a beta-reader, so if you want ideas or someone to check your work, just ask her, she'll be glad to do it.

Viking - ... 793, 794, 795...

Hiccup – and she's making a new FanFiction where you ask they HTTYD characters -including me- questions. Basically it's a Q&A FanFiction and the first character is Snotlout so leave your questions as reviews on this chapter (as well as your actual review :P) OR you can inbox Viking. She seems to squeal when she gets an inbox... :/

Viking – Bye! 856, 857, 858, 859...

Hiccup – *face palm*

**DISCLAIMER – Viking does not own the following...**

**Baths**

**Security guard #1**

**Rebbecca Black**

**Bleach**

**Omegle **

**Guys with mustaches**

**DesandNate "Guns don't kill people, guys with mustaches do." (at least I think it's DesandNate :S)**

**Charlie the Unicorn "You're like a constant downer, huh?"**

**How to Train Your Dragon. **

**Viking does actually own security guard #2**

**No flies were harmed in the making of this chapter.**

DON'T FORGET TO VOTE, ASK SNOTLOUT QUESTIONS AND REVIEW! :D


	3. What is my life

Hiccup: Viking just watched How to Train Your Dragon. So she loves me again, I guess.

Viking: Yes! I am back!

Hiccup: It's only been about fifty years.

**I am proud to be back.**

**So very glad. **

**I once had to use an ice pack. **

Hiccup: Viking… what was that?

Viking: *sobs on floor* I don't know anymore.

Hiccup: *sighs*

Viking: Hey, why don't we write a poem with a word for every letter?

Hiccup: *face palm* you mean an acrostic poem?

Viking: Yeah, that thing.

Hiccup: Alright.

**H – Hiccup**

**I – is**

**C – cool**

**C – call**

**U – up**

**P – police**

Viking: …

Hiccup: I apparently can't write those.

Viking: That was terrible.

Hiccup: Your mum is. AT SEX.

Viking: I have corrupted your innocent mind.

Hiccup: Nobody's gonna read this. You've been gone for too long.

Viking: -_-

**Hiccup says I'm all washed up.**

**What I say is "nup."**

**Well, I didn't actually say that.**

**My cat is fat.**

Hiccup: Just give up.

Viking: *head desk* what am I doing with my life.

Hiccup: Don't ask me.

Viking: I'm a sixteen year old who spends her day fangirling on tumblr and ignoring her career.

**Hiccup: The readers don't care, Viking. **

**I saw a guy whose eyes are orange.**

**Nothing rhymes with orange.**

**I just rhymed orange with orange.**

**Orange.**

Viking: What is this Fanfiction.

Hiccup: random drabble that no one will read.

Viking: We should go before I mess this up any more than I have.

Hiccup: Yep.

Viking: Oh, by the way, we both have tumblrs!

Hiccup: hashtag shameless self-promotion.

Viking: hashtag shut up and get back in your cage.

Hiccup: hashtag no thanks mate.

Viking: I'll put it on my profile or whatever.

Hiccup: Mine's an ask Hiccup blog.

Viking: Shut up. No one cares.


End file.
